Agatha Christie’s famous detective, Hercule Poirot, often says he must give himself ‘furiously to think’! It always makes me smile, but, lately, I have begun to empathise, too. The scriptures regularly make me ‘furiously to think’, as does Oswald Chambers, an early twentieth-century, Scottish Baptist teacher in the Holiness Movement. He writes, “The continual grubbing on the inside to see whether we are what we ought to be generates a self-centred, morbid type of Christianity…How long is it going to take [Yahweh] to free us from the morbid habit of thinking about ourselves?” Does this make you ‘furiously to think’? It made my mind whirl!
As disciples of Yahshua we learn quickly that we are to abandon the self-life, and put Yahshua in first place, understanding that He said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” [Luke 9:23]. So I asked myself if it was, in fact, possible to be morbidly obsessed with me. Since ‘morbid’ suggests an unhealthy mental state or attitude, and a ‘morbid’ interest usually means being interested in unpleasant things, it was sobering.
I remembered being face-down on the carpet in my bedroom, begging Yahweh to tell me what was wrong. I had been feeling sad and discouraged and felt sure it was because of something dreadful I had done. I wept, imploring Him to speak to me, to no avail. In the end, despairing I cried, “Tell me what is wrong…or I will believe nothing is!” And I meant it to sound like a threat, so confident was I in my imperfections. My room filled with a deafening silence; I lay perfectly still; time ticked by; until His voice spoke softly and gently into the depths of my spirit, “So believe it!”
That day I learned that holiness is not about how I feel, but about the tremendous power of Atonement. I was challenged to launch out recklessly, believing that the work of redemption was complete even in me! Perfection and holiness are in Yahshua, we who abide in Him absorb and appropriate His righteousness. Don’t be morbid, be reckless - believe it! It will bring a life of victory, and glory to Yahweh.
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